Patchwork
by oneperfectfit
Summary: A collection of Kel/Raoul drabbles, all written for Fief Goldenlake's 2010 SMACKDOWN competition.
1. Because It's Kel

He's just so relieved to see her safe and alive and unhurt, honestly that's it, there's no other reason for the kiss, no other reason for the human contact outside their norm of one-armed hugs and shoulder clasps. She's safe, that's all, this girl that he's put so much time and energy into, this girl that he loves.

He didn't mean it to deepen, didn't mean any of that to happen. He didn't realize she would kiss him back, that it would turn into something it shouldn't and couldn't be, that anything would happen, because he didn't intend for anything to happen.

Because it's _Kel_, you can't do this with _Kel_, he keeps thinking over and over, even as he does.


	2. Least I Could Do

"Thank you for sending Dom and his squad after me, sir."

"Honestly, Kel, they would have gone no matter what."

"I know. But his way they were under orders- I wouldn't have to worry about them being tried for treason afterwards."

"Instead you worried about your year-mates and young Owen."

"Well, yes. And I appreciated them coming along, but- I've commanded Dom's squad before. The men know me. And most of them have more experience in this sort of thing- chasing, tracking. We were all trained by the same person, after all."

"You flatter me."

"I'm serious, sir!"

"Honestly, Keladry, it was the least I could do. If I had been able to get away I would have come with you myself."


	3. What The?

Neal has an opinion. Then again, Neal has an opinion about absolutely everything.

"Lord Raoul," he states, after taking several deep, calming breaths.

"Yes." Kel is sitting at her desk while Neal paces, her hands folded neatly in her lap.

"Lord Raoul. Lord Raoul of Goldenlake. And Malorie's Peak."

"You forgot Commander of the King's Own," Kel points out.

"Bite your tongue, woman. I know who Lord Raoul is."

"That's good, as you're seeming to assume that I don't."

Neal rolls his eyes. "Of course you do. You're the one sleeping with him."

Kel starts to speak, then thinks better of it. "Yes."

"Kel."

She raises her eyebrows. "What, Neal."

"I could see Lord Wyldon as more of a possibility for your domestic bliss. Lord _Wyldon_."

"You can go now, Neal."


	4. Four Reasons

1. She can fight.

She is like poetry with her sword and glaive, violent poetry as she slashes and slices through the air while training, substituting space for people while she practices.

2. She can tilt.

One day, she finally she manages to unseat him. He couldn't be prouder.

3. Her eyes.

Kel has the prettiest eyes he has ever seen, shifting between green and brown in the difference of light between morning and evening.

4. Her sense of humor.

Her sense of humor is quiet and dry, but she has said to him some of the funniest things he's heard in a while. Also, she always understands and laughs at his jokes.


	5. Great Divide

Ever since what Kel calls The Incident, capital letters intended, there has been this division between them. She can't really talk to him like she used to, confide in him. Her sense memory brings up the feel of his hands on her, his breath on her neck, and she blushes and goes away.

Kel hates blushing.

And what's worse is that she normally isn't That Person, the girl who sleeps with her commander. And Mithros, she had been warned against it by Raoul himself when she was seeing Cleon. It creates problems, he had said. He was referring more specifically to the Riders, but his message carried through clearly.

She is such an idiot.


	6. Somebody to Love

Process of elimination, really. Wyldon was out- said something about being dedicated to his wife, as if that meant anything when all you wanted was a torrid affair. Joren was too obsessed with body glitter and smelling good. Sabine was nice, and they shared a lot of the same interests being lady knights and all, but she was rotting and smelly. That was a deal breaker. Vania had a few too many diseases for Kel to feel safe. Neal was too much in the best friend zone. Dom was great, but... it hadn't worked out, unfortunately. Baird's hands were freezing, Rikash was too stabby, Alanna too temperamental, Lalasa too shy. Buri and her didn't click. Uline didn't have any of the same interests, and Yuki was just awkward. And Owen? She couldn't see that happening- ever- in a million years.

Logically, Raoul was perfect for her.


	7. For Your Love

Kel never had to do anything to change for him. He loves her exactly as she is, scarred and large and muscular.

In her worst moments, she thinks of Joren that one time on the wall, where he used her size and shape as an explanation for her making a good wife for Lord Raoul.

But the man himself wipes away that memory; he is so kind, so loving, so admiring of her that it doesn't matter.

You will never have to change, he tells her. Never ever. I love you as you are.

Thank you, Kel says, and hates herself for her moments of insecurity.


	8. Newborn Warrior

Kel stops by Fief Goldenlake in the fall. Pathom of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak is four months old. He has dark, curly hair and dark eyes. He looks like his father more than his mother.

"Congratulations," Kel says, hugging her old knight master tightly. "He's perfect,"

"Isn't he?" Raoul grins. The baby looked small in his huge hands. "He'll be a warrior, this one."

"With parents like you and Buri, how could he not? It's in his blood."

She doesn't stay long. Kel is on her way to Queenscove to see another baby- Neal and Yuki's daughter Kitana, her god-daughter.

But as she rides away from Goldenlake, she feels just a little bit lonelier than when she arrived.


	9. Sneaking

He's a master at sneaking around, despite his size. He knows how to balance his weight on his feet, knows what shoes make the least amount of noise, know the way to breathe quietly. After all his years as a knight and a commander of course he does. He would be deader than Roger of Conte (the second time, not the first) if he didn't.

Raoul also excels at slipping out of places he shouldn't be- for example Buri's rooms, once upon a time, and that is why it is no surprise that he manages to make it back to his door and his bedroom, on the opposite side of the palace, without being seen.

It wouldn't do for people to know what exactly he was doing with his former squire, after all.


	10. Evidence

He's never quite been this disappointed in her, and he's known her for a long time. Been her knight-master, overseen her when she was a green knight. He had confidence in her. Loved her like she was his own.

He almost couldn't believe his eyes at first. Keladry couldn't. _Wouldn't_.

But the evidence doesn't lie. It's Lord Wyldon's handwriting on that note, his handwriting forming those lovestruck letters.

Mithros, Kel. Raoul thinks long and hard. Of all the men it had to be Cavall. The one who could ruin her worse than she might think.

It should have been him, or it should have been Queenscove, any other married man but that one.


	11. Comfort

"Mithros, Kel, I came as soon as I heard,"

"I know. I know. Thank you."

"Do you- I can hug you, I'm sorry that I'm all wet-"

"No, you rode through the rain to see me. I would appreciate the hug. Thank you."

"It was no trouble at all. He was your best friend- the least I can do-"

"I can't believe that I have to use the past tense now for Neal. Neal. It's not right, it shouldn't have happened-"

"You can't say it should have been you, Keladry. As much as you don't want to hear this you need to hear it: the realm needs you more than it needed Queenscove. He was a fine man, a fine knight, but you're more."

"That's not really helping."

"It's my way of warning you against following him to the Peaceful Realms."

"I wouldn't do that, sir."

"You'd better not."


	12. Mourn

She's sorry that Jonathan is dead, but in truth Kel is sorrier for Roald. Her friend wasn't expecting the weight of the crown so soon, wasn't expecting to have to take even more time away from his three young children.

And she feels sorry for Raoul. Her king was his friend, a friend he is mourning bitterly.

Raoul tells her about how he and Jon fought more as they grey older. He talks about how they shouldn't have done that, how they should have stayed close, even though Jon was an idiot and pushed away Alanna at points too. He tells her how he never got to apologize for some of the harsher things he said, how sorry he was.

And all Kel can do is sit there with him and listen.


	13. Successor

Like puppies in a basket he told her that one time, that's what he and Jon and Alanna and Gary were when they were pages and squires. All paws and tails.

Now they've grown up to become men (and a woman) of standing, whose shoes Kel knows that she one day might have to fill.

She's nervous. Raoul is a giant in more than one way, and she knows that on some level he's preparing her to become his successor, to command the King's Own after him.

She just hopes that that day will come when she's old enough to know what to do and can emulate him well.


	14. Gloves

Her birthday present this year isn't anything like her previous ones: it isn't a weapon or armor, or some book he knows she will actually enjoy (unlike Neal, whose books of philosophy Kel has never really read).

It's a pair of elegant, delicate embroidered gloves that fit her hands perfectly.

When she asks him about it he shuffles his feet and coughs awkwardly. It is adorable.

"I think," Raoul says, clearing his throat, "that sometimes you need to feel... pretty. Like a girl. Because you are- and a fine one at that! So I got you something that's... feminine. But still possibly useful. I hope that's alright."

Kel reassures him that it is.


	15. Tilt

The day that Kel manages to unseat Raoul in the tilting fields- on as a practice, not a real joust, but it still definitely counts- he sweeps her up in a giant hug.

And then he makes her do it again.

She stops when she can't feel her arm anymore.

It's two months after that when she faces Lord Wyldon in a joust. Maybe the man's getting older, or Kel's just gotten really, really good, but she unseats him on the second go.

Raoul's smile is huge. He claps her on the back, kisses her forehead and both cheeks, and tells her that she's done him proud.


	16. Magical

Well. If Kel had known that it was going to be this good, she would have kissed him sooner.

If it's because he has more experience, or because she's just more attracted to him than she's really been to anyone in such a long time, well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all.

She has to do this again.

"May I continue?" Raoul's hands are resting on her hips, restlessly. She moves closer to him. She feels his chest move as he breathes, counterpoint to hers.

"Please do," Kel breaths, and tilts her face up to receive welcome contact with his warm lips.


	17. Clean

Visiting Goldenlake to conduct their affair has so many perks.

One of them is the large, private bathhouse.

Discreet servants, not like the nosy gossiping palace ones (who are nice. And prying). Clean hot water. Bath salts.

Kel likes the bath salts.

The best part about the Goldenlake baths is the person who is in there with her, though. He is very considerate about soaping and rinsing her back.

Well he should. It's his fault there's a tender bruise there, but it's probably also her fault for being insane enough to keep tilting with a man who has lead in his behind.

Bonus: free shoulder massage.


	18. Secrets

There are always dark-haired children running around Mindelan. Ilane's hair was dark brown before it was white; so is the color of most of her brothers' hair too.

One more will make no difference, Kel tells herself. Oranie looks exactly like Ilane, but shares a nose with Kel. Her husband has dark curls, is tall, and has dark eyes. The resemblances are just enough that maybe she can pull it off.

When Orie announces the birth of her son, many express surprise- so that's why the woman had ben holed up at her family fief for so long.

Kel just feels relieved, knowing that her secret is safe.


	19. Good Luck

Kel sits down next to Raoul before the joust. "This is ridiculous, you know," she says. "I would hug you, but you're all armored up. It would be a very cold, metallic hug."

"Best save it for afterwards," the man grins at her. "It would be very unfulfilling otherwise. And I couldn't let a hug go to waste."

"I suppose not, sir." Kel smiles. "Do you have everything? Is Drum ready?"

"Lerant's dealt with him. It'll be fine."

"If you're sure then."

"I'm sure. I've been doing this forever, it feels like."

Kel laughs. "Yes."

"One more thing, though. You could give me a kiss for good luck."


	20. Call Me

"Look what you did, Keladry."

"Yes, sir."

"Trust in me when I say that I never doubted you for a moment. I relish this day."

"Yes, sir. And I'd like to thank you for taking me as on as your squire. I knew that you didn't do it, and I had always harbored daydreams of being the Lioness's squire, but this turned out to be so much better. Truly."

"I'm glad the last four years weren't horrible for you. You don't have to laugh. It wasn't that funny."

"It was a little bit funny."

"Mmm. Look, now that you're knighted this sir thing is greater nonsense than it was. Call me Raoul."

"Yes, sir- I mean Raoul. Er."

"We'll work on it, Kel."


	21. Dancer

Mithros, he loves watching her do her pattern dances. They're more of a dance, more of an art than most things in fighting. Jousting is a skill, fighting is a craft. What Kel is going through right now, the motions and dips and swirls, is no less than art.

She looks beautiful doing it too. Her hair swishes around her face and her eyes are serious, focused on the glaive and her body, the movements of.

He wants her most when she is like this, dancing her deadly dance, weapon in her hand. He can't help it: Raoul has always had a thing for beautiful warrior women.


	22. Missing You

Dear Raoul,

I missed you this week, as I'm sure you well know. I always realized the limitations of our relationship, but this really does bring it into stark contrast. Are you sure that you cannot ask the king for some time off? That was a joke. I wouldn't take you away from anything.

I think that I'll be coming to ride with you soon. I miss riding with the Own and the glamorous life of a knight. Something will turn up that involves mud and mad horses and rain. It always does- I have faith in that. And we'll get to see each other.

Missing you,

Kel


	23. Strawberries

"Seriously, this is the best gift I could think you could give me."

"It's Midwinter. You deserve something special."

"After putting up with you for a year? Yes I do."

"Kel... your words wound me. Except they don't. I know you speak in good humor."

"Believe me, my affection level for you keeps going up and up. These are amazing. Where did you get them?"

"There's a specialty market in Corus somewhere. I can never remember exactly what district. They have a mage who makes it all possible."

"That's wonderful. And expensive."

"It was, a bit. But you're definitely worth it."

"Thank you for the strawberries."


	24. Crush

When Kel thinks back over her crushes, she thinks of Neal, Dom, that Yamani boy she trained with when she was eight, and Lord Raoul.

She supposes it had something to do with how he treated her, like she was smart and an equal, how he took her seriously, even when no one else besides Neal was (and it could be hard to take Neal seriously). He was friends with the Lioness, and he was handsome and a bachelor besides.

But then Joren made that comment, that one day up on the wall, and suddenly she doesn't want to like Lord Raoul anymore: it feels wrong, like they're matched for all of the wrong reasons.

And there goes her crush.


	25. Handsome

So she doesn't really know when she realizes how handsome he is. Maybe it's when she is twenty, twenty-one. His hair is a little bit greyer then, and his eyes are a little bit more lined, but it adds character to his face- not that it was needed.

Well- she's always known that her former knight master was a handsome man, and a good one at that, but it's really only in the past few months that she has begun to find him attractive.

Kel confesses it to Yuki, who titters quietly and agrees. "He's so... vital," Yuki says. "it's quite understandable, Keladry."

So Kel allows herself her thoughts.


	26. Gossip

The Court gossips are aflame, as always. Lord Raoul has taken Keladry the Girl to be his squire!

"Well he must not be into other men like we'd thought," one says.

"I heard she's servicing him in all sorts of ways," another agrees.

And they would keep going, sullying the reputation- or attempting to- of an honorable man and a fourteen year old girl.

Except.

Not only do the men of the Own look after their commander, helped as well by certain powerful friends like the Prime Minister, but Kel's friends look after her.

All but the most vile and persistent are effectively and non-violently silenced within weeks.


	27. Absurd

He can't be attracted to her, because who does that? Sleep with their girl squire, that is. (Besides Jon, of course, but the age difference was much less than and Jon was more than a bit of a jumped-up snot too- so that hardly counts. And no one knew Alan was Alanna, and he shouldn't even be thinking like this). He's resisted love for the past however many years, and resisted it well. The closest he's ever come is Buri, way back when she was still new to Tortall and a fierce little warrior-girl he admired. But she loved Thayet more, and that went nowhere.

And now look at him, mooning over a girl who could be his daughter, because she is a fighter, and because she is steady in the saddle and firm with her weapons.


End file.
